I always vet the person I’m working with—whether that’s looking to see who they have worked with, talking to other creators who know them, or meeting for a quick hang before we schedule a shoot. Before shooting, I ask to see recent STI test results (I, of course, share mine as well and disclose that I am herpes positive), then we talk about boundaries and anything that’s off-limits for the scene. We’ll also go through what positions we’ll be doing and go over our lines if there’s a script. I also take a bunch of nudes before the shoot to get me into the zone
Valentine, 36, Portland
Whenever engaging in any in-person work, always get paid first. This goes for anyone you work with for any length of time. Sadly, even the most long standing clients and fans can take advantage of us when it comes to payment after the session. Whenever you can, commit to this boundary.
I highly recommend Maybelline Superstay Matte Lipstick over gloss. Once it’s dried, it’s locked in, and even if it fades a little, it will take work to get off.
For self-care, I enjoy stretching or yoga, a hearty meal post-shoot or client, a cold soda water, and hot showers (in any order). It’s so nice to decompress and recharge for the next rendezvous. I also get regular chiropractic care and massages for overall body wellness. It’s essential when arching your back, staying in weird modeling poses, or lashing someone over and over.
Mistress Lauren, 26, NY
A few months after becoming an in-person pro-domme, I started getting sick a lot. Part of it was definitely being up close and personal with so many different men, having them sucking on my toes and breathing all over me. But the main problem was my sleep schedule. I was so in love with this new job and the money and the excitement that I was basically always “on-call” (the place I work operates that way instead of having us wait at the dungeon during shifts), and so I would work nearly every time someone wanted to see me.
It was unsustainable because I prioritized working over sleeping, eating, working out, and everything else. If I wanted to continue in this job, I needed a better work-life balance to stay healthy. So I got an all access membership at Equinox. It is so expensive but I had a place anywhere in the city that I could go into, work out through my stress, charge my phone, and decompress overall. Plus, I can use the steam rooms and showers when I need to rinse off a particularly icky session with certain clients.
I would highly recommend that anyone new in the industry to have a place, an activity, or friends that require you to fully step away from your work as often as you need. In this work, it’s really important to take breaks and prioritize your mental and physical health.
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